Unconditional Love

My mom tells me that for the first time in her life she really understands love, and knows that God loves her unconditionally. She hopes that someday I will understand what it means to truly love.

From what I understand true love (agape love) is unconditional. This entry from The Love Dare is sobering.

“If someone were to ask you, “Why do you love your wife?” or “Why do you love you husband?” ---what would you say?

Most men would mention their wife’s beauty, her sense of humor, her kindness, her inner strength. They might talk about her cooking, her knack for decorating, or what a good mother she is.

Women would probably say something about their husband’s good looks or his personality. They’d commend him for his steadiness and consistent character. They’d say they love him because he’s always there for them. He’s generous. He’s helpful.

But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of these things. Would you still love them? Based on your answer above, the only logical response would be “no”. If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities—and then those same qualities suddenly or gradually disappear—your basis for love is over.

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love…. Phileo and eros are more responsive in nature and can fluctuate based upon feelings. Agape love, on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional. So unless this kind of love forms the foundation of your marriage, the wear and tear of time will destroy it. Agape love is “in sickness and health” love, “for richer and poorer” love, “for better or worse” love. It is the only kind of love that is true love.

That’s because this is God’s kind of love. He does not love us because we are lovable but because He is so loving. The Bible says, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for out sins” (I John 4:10).”

Although I don’t presume to judge what is in another man’s heart, I say that from how I’ve seen her love behave, I hope I never understand her kind of “true love”. I would much prefer to love my husband, not because, but love him period. This also means that I must also love my mom unconditionally--not accept her actions unconditionally, just love her. Please pray today that I can learn to do that with my whole heart until she knows that I love her, not her sin, just her.